"The fastest way for me was... (how shall I put
it?) the growing sense of my own nonentity – nonexistence. To feel I
could do nothing, knew nothing, wanted nothing; but then the WHOLE being
filled with... it's not even an aspiration now, it's like this (gesture of surrender, hands open),
an inescapable fact: “Without the Divine, nothing, nothing – I am
nothing, I understand nothing, I can do nothing. Without the Divine,
nothing.” To be like this (same gesture, hands open).
And then... a Peace... a luminous Peace... and so powerful! And when I
am quiet (I saw it again very interestingly, because before when I gave a
meditation to X, there was still an effort, an effort to meditate, an
effort to...), while this time... (Mother sharply lowers her hands),
it was compelling. A compelling Presence – compelling.
Extraordinary.... In fact I wondered what the meditation would be like,
if it was going to be like before – not at all, it's like this (Mother sharply lowers her hands).
filled with... it's not even an aspiration now, it's like this (gesture of surrender, hands open),
an inescapable fact: “Without the Divine, nothing, nothing – I am
nothing, I understand nothing, I can do nothing. Without the Divine,
nothing.” To be like this (same gesture, hands open).
And then... a Peace... a luminous Peace... and so powerful! And when I
am quiet (I saw it again very interestingly, because before when I gave a
meditation to X, there was still an effort, an effort to meditate, an
effort to...), while this time... (Mother sharply lowers her hands),
it was compelling. A compelling Presence – compelling.
Extraordinary.... In fact I wondered what the meditation would be like,
if it was going to be like before – not at all, it's like this (Mother sharply lowers her hands).
So, it's going well.
But first there must be an absolute sincerity, that is, a CONVICTION: I am nothing, nothing – I can do nothing, I know nothing, I have absolutely NOTHING... (Mother raises an index finger) except the Divine. Then it's all right.
As I told you, it's so strong that at times I
can't even eat; whereas when it's like this, when the consciousness
becomes like this (gesture of surrender, hands open), I finish my dinner without even knowing I am eating.... It's inexpressible. But wonderful.
Only, there is no place for fear – if you're afraid, it becomes dreadful. Fortunately my body is not afraid."
THE MOTHER
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 29, 1971
(Mother caresses Satprem's swollen eye.)
No, no, it really doesn't hurt, Mother!... Do you have anything new?
It's moving – moving fast.
Because it's moving fast, it's excessive (gesture of straining).
For example, during the same meal, I eat
without even noticing it, solely in the divine consciousness, then all
of a sudden I am back – and I can't swallow anymore! I choke. It's very
extreme, because it's going so fast. But I know what it is.
I just gave a meditation to X.1 It is not AT ALL what it used to be... (what shall I say?). There's a sort of quiet authority now. But he is receptive.
The Force... (Mother lowers her hands in an irresistible gesture), ohh! there's a great change.
(long silence)
I have received a letter from Indira.
Oh, really?
(Mother hands an envelope)
Revered Mother,
Through these critical months I have thought
constantly of you. I can find no words with which to express my
gratitude for your support. Your blessings are a great source of
strength. Our difficulties are not over....
(Mother nods her head)
... The American administration is most upset
that its calculations were so completely wrong, and they will use their
power to try to humble us and specially to create division between
Bangla Desh and ourselves.
I think our nation has taken a step towards
maturity. Yet there are many who look only to today. If India is to be
great we must improve the quality of the minds of our people. I know
that this is your desire. In my humble way I am trying to do what I can.
With respectful regards,
Yours sincerely,
Indira Gandhi
Indira Gandhi
That's good, indeed.
It's good. So I replied this:
To Indira
With blessings.
India must be proud of your leadership. Let the
country take its true place in the world for showing the way towards
the supreme Truth.
with love
Mother
Mother
It's good she has taken this tack.
Yes, it's good.
I didn't think she was like that.
(Mother nods her head)
But there are still many difficulties.
Oh!... Oh!... It's a scoundrel who's become the... [president of Pakistan, Bhutto].
Oh, you mean that one!
Quite a scoundrel. And he's killing his own
people. Some teachers have been executed because they had a different
opinion. He's committing atrocities in his own country.... In a way,
it's what is needed to show the falsehood of the whole thing [the
division of Pakistan and India].
And yet Pakistan's new president is putting up a democratic front.
By killing people!
Several provinces of West Pakistan have revolted against the people he had put in to govern
them.2
We'll see.
(silence)
Things are going fast.
I personally feel they're very grating.
Oh!... It's going fast. The faster it goes, the more it pulls.
I badly need your help – your active help.
What's wrong?
It's difficult.
(long silence)
The fastest way for me was... (how shall I put
it?) the growing sense of my own nonentity – nonexistence. To feel I
could do nothing, knew nothing, wanted nothing; but then the WHOLE being
filled with... it's not even an aspiration now, it's like this (gesture of surrender, hands open),
an inescapable fact: “Without the Divine, nothing, nothing – I am
nothing, I understand nothing, I can do nothing. Without the Divine,
nothing.” To be like this (same gesture, hands open).
And then... a Peace... a luminous Peace... and so powerful! And when I
am quiet (I saw it again very interestingly, because before when I gave a
meditation to X, there was still an effort, an effort to meditate, an
effort to...), while this time... (Mother sharply lowers her hands),
it was compelling. A compelling Presence – compelling.
Extraordinary.... In fact I wondered what the meditation would be like,
if it was going to be like before – not at all, it's like this (Mother sharply lowers her hands).
filled with... it's not even an aspiration now, it's like this (gesture of surrender, hands open),
an inescapable fact: “Without the Divine, nothing, nothing – I am
nothing, I understand nothing, I can do nothing. Without the Divine,
nothing.” To be like this (same gesture, hands open).
And then... a Peace... a luminous Peace... and so powerful! And when I
am quiet (I saw it again very interestingly, because before when I gave a
meditation to X, there was still an effort, an effort to meditate, an
effort to...), while this time... (Mother sharply lowers her hands),
it was compelling. A compelling Presence – compelling.
Extraordinary.... In fact I wondered what the meditation would be like,
if it was going to be like before – not at all, it's like this (Mother sharply lowers her hands).
So, it's going well.
But first there must be an absolute sincerity, that is, a CONVICTION: I am nothing, nothing – I can do nothing, I know nothing, I have absolutely NOTHING... (Mother raises an index finger) except the Divine. Then it's all right.
As I told you, it's so strong that at times I
can't even eat; whereas when it's like this, when the consciousness
becomes like this (gesture of surrender, hands open), I finish my dinner without even knowing I am eating.... It's inexpressible. But wonderful.
Only, there is no place for fear – if you're afraid, it becomes dreadful. Fortunately my body is not afraid.
(silence)
It's a bit difficult, yes, but... (Mother takes Satprem's hands).
(silence)
The next time is the first.
Yes, Mother, Saturday the first – what luck!3
(Mother smiles) Yes, it will be all right.
Yes??
(meditation,then such a beautiful smile, Mother hands the 1972 photo in which she looks like a Chinese baby smiling)
Do you have this?
Oh, this is so very charming!
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